Hey everyone... This blog post is something that I have been contemplating for a bit, and I really feel like God is leading me to write this.
On my birthday earlier this year, I put up a blog post with a list of 27 things that I wanted to do this year - things I wanted to experience, if you will. However, while being here at Ellerslie, the Lord has really been pricking on my heart about a couple of things - one thing in particular actually.
#9 ~ Going on a date.
My whole life I have championed not dating - living a life of complete devotion to whomever I would marry in the future. Proverbs 31:12 says, "She does him good and not evil ALL the days of her life." Not just after I've met him, or after I've been married. And yet, on my list of things to do this year is to go on a date.
I realize that I've been struggling with trusting God in all things - I'd gotten tired of waiting, so to speak, and thought that I'd "help" God along. "Just because I go on a date doesn't mean that I'm giving my heart away," was how I justified it to myself. Even though I wrote that it didn't have to be a guy, I really wanted it to be a guy... It just sounded better if I didn't admit it. And I didn't want to admit it even to myself that I was struggling with being discontent and not trusting God. I'm the "good girl" so to speak - I'm not really supposed to struggle with things like that. I felt like I was supposed to have it all together, but I didn't. I still don't, in a way. But I'm learning how to fully be surrendered to God and yield my life as a living offering to Jesus Christ on a daily basis. My life is not my own - I have been bought with a price, and everything I do should bring God glory.
So today, God went after #9 on my list. And I really feel like He is calling me to apologize to all of you readers. I was wrong in not trusting Him and for lowering my standard. I ask for your forgiveness and patience as I continue to seek out how God wants me to live. I pray that my list didn't cause any of you to stumble, and if it did I am very sorry.
Please pray for me as I continue to seek out His will for my life...
In His Love,
Christy
