...Waiting...

    Hello, my beautiful friends... any of you ever feel like you are stuck in a holding pattern? Like, no matter what you are doing, nothing ever changes? No, just me? That's ok. I don't mind. Because I know I'm not really alone in this feeling.

    Because, if we were all honest, we'd be able to say that we never thought life would be this hard. That when we were kids, we never imagined life would turn out the way that it did... that dreams that we thought would come true turned out to be a living nightmare. Or they never happened. Or the cost was higher than we expected. Or... fill in the blank with your own hard. Because we all have it. Regardless of the Instagram pictures or the Facebook posts of all the perfection, we all have hard. And oftentimes we feel stuck. I know I do. 

    But guess what, friends? We aren't alone when we are waiting. God is with us. And there is such a relief in letting go of trying to figure it out on your own. Because I struggle with that. Especially lately. There have been some challenges that I'm trying to figure out how to navigate, and there are times when I feel oh so very alone. I know I'm not alone, I have friends and family who care and are willing to be helpful, but it is so easy to feel alone. Especially when things are hard. So I have turned to the One who is always there. And like always, He is right there, with Hope for the waiting. 

    I'm currently doing "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer, and there's a quote that has stood out to me (I mean, there are many, but I'm limiting myself to one, maybe two for this post), "The Architect of your life knows exactly what He is doing... All you can do is fully engage in the task before you today, believing that 'all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose' (Rom 8:28 CSB). Never think that your circumstances are disconnected from His leading and His will." And I love that, because it is so easy to get caught up in trying to figure things out, and trying to make things happen, but all I have to do is to keep on doing what He's asked of me, and to keep waiting. And He will take care of the rest.

    So while I've been mulling over all of that, He hits me with this song. And I love how He just drops songs into my life when I need them. He knows that music is part of the heartbeat of my life, and He uses it to encourage and challenge me.

    

    So just know, my beautiful friend, that you are not alone in your waiting. Whatever that may look like in your life. Take courage, and hold on to your hope, because He is never failing. 

In His Love and Hope,

Christy

Building Boats and Burning Ships: Part 2

    Whelp... I had planned on blogging weekly this year, but we can see how well that has been going for me. To be honest, I have started and restarted this post so many times. But my emotions were bigger than the page, and I didn't have words to express them. And every time I sat down to blog, I sat there empty and swallowed up by my emotions. So, I waited. And clearly, kept on waiting. Every so often I would open up this page and stare at it, trying to figure out what to say, how to say it... 

    ...because, my friend, life is hard. My word for last year and now this year is "Hope", and let me tell you, last year was an emotionally exhausting year. In January, our church was offering a grief class, and I was not prepared for how draining it is to process grief. Because let's be honest, no one really talks about grief, and how exhausting it can be. And I don't know why there was so much grief, because it had been a few years since my divorce. Maybe enough time had gone by that I was at a place that I could properly process it, I'm not sure, but it hit me like a freight train. 

    But I kept going, because, you know, there are bills to pay and I have a child to take care of. Life has to be lived, even in the midst of all sorts of hard things. And I knew that, with Jesus, I would make it through. He had been faithful so far, and would continue to be faithful. He had promised in His Word, and I clung to that. 

    Because I never wanted to be divorced. I really didn't. I had no choice. But that's another story for another time. The point is, we all have hard things that we don't want to go through, that leave us with wounds and grief. And sometimes unhealthy coping skills, too. I'm still working on fixing some of mine. You do the best that you can in the moment that you are in. And then, when the time is right, Jesus is like, hey, you know that thing you are doing, and that wound you have? How about you let Me take that from you and help you heal from it? Because He is good that way. He wants us to live healed lives. 

    So in processing a lot of my grief, I had a choice to make - was I going to let the pain of my divorce define my life, forever tying myself to one horrific event, or was I going to let go of the hurt, and the right to be angry, and walk forward in His redeeming grace?

    

    This song has meant a lot to me over the past few months, as I have pondered what it looks like to  "step in to a new day". Outwardly, not much has changed - I still have my same job, go to the same church, my son goes to the same school. But inwardly, my heart feels different. I am burning the old ships and building my new boat. Because what God has is so much more than I can even begin to imagine. And He wants the same for you, too, my beautiful friend. If you are willing to trust Him in this hard process. Will you join me?

In His Love and Hope,

Christy

Building Boats and Burning Ships: Part 1

    Hello internet friends. This year has been a wild ride so far, and it is only the first week in February.  The amount of stupid, stupid stuff that has happened is simply mind boggling. And not just to me. In talking with friends at church and whatnot, the amount of stuff they're also dealing with is just stupid. 

    I realize it's been awhile since I last blogged (like, a whole year) so I decided to go back and read my last post before diving in again, and this line jumped out at me: "Which is why I am so excited for this new year. The Lord has promised me that this year is the year of Hope." And let me tell you friends, last year was one of the hardest years I've had. 

    But what does that have to do with Hope, you might ask? Well, I was reminded of something the other day - whatever we pray for, we get the opposite of. You want more patience? You get trials to grow your patience? Want more joy? Gotta go through some suffering first to grow the joy. You can't have one without the other, it seems. I wanted more hope - it appears I had to walk through a whole heck of a lot of grief first. Last January, our church was offering a grief class, and I was not prepared for how draining it is to process grief. Because let's be honest, no one really talks about grief, and how exhausting it can be. 

    And I tried to blog about it, but I didn't have the words - the emotions were too big for words. So I cried a lot, prayed a lot. Did my normal life, too, because life goes on. Even when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for at least a week. Which, as we all know, isn't exactly practical if you are a parent or have bills to pay.

    But a couple of weeks ago, I was talking with my Bible study ladies, and we were discussing praying for situations, and jokingly the comment was made that one should be careful what you pray for, and how you pray for it, because it never quite turns out how you expect. Like, patience and trials. And I realized (only took me an entire year) that hope and grief are the same way. 

    And then the next day I heard this song. Now, granted, I had heard this song many times before, but sometimes songs hit differently at different times.  

    The beauty of this song is the hope that is promised. I still feel like I'm stuck in the desert, but because I have faith and hope I'm going to build my boat. But Christy, you may be asking, if you are building a boat, then why are you also burning ships? That, my beautiful friend, is another story for a different day. Until then, pray the brave prayers. Ask for patience, for joy, for hope, for the dreams of your heart. Because He longs to give you more than you could possibly imagine. Even when it doesn't look like what you think it should. 

In His Love and Hope,

Christy

When life doesn't look like the Faithfulness of God

    Sometimes, life is a struggle. Sometimes, a day feels like an entire week; sometimes a week feels like a whole month. And sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel seems like it is moving farther and farther away. This past week has felt like that. And I realized today that there are times I have doubted the goodness of God.

    Don't misunderstand me. I do not doubt that God is good. It is part of His character, the makeup of Who God is. But I doubted that, in the midst of all of the hard and life's struggles, that there was goodness in my life. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that God was providing for me and taking care of me, but it didn't always feel good. I did not doubt His faithfulness, but I doubted His goodness. There were good days, and good moments, but it is easy to be overwhelmed by all of the everything, for lack of a better way to describe it.

    

So then I started to wonder... do I maybe have a wrong understanding of what the goodness of God is? Have I allowed society's interpretation of what is good, or what should be good, to filter how I perceive the good that God has done in my life? Being the word nerd that I am, I went digging. What exactly is the difference between goodness and faithfulness? Is there even a difference?

    I started with a verse my pastor used in his Sunday sermon this past week: Deuteronomy 2:7

    "For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hand. He knows your trudging through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing."

    I then did some diving and compiled a comprehensive definition of both goodness and faithfulness. 

    Goodness: Quality of being morally good/virtuous. Quality or state of being kind, honest, generous, helpful, etc. Synonyms include: holy, pure, righteousness.

    Faithfulness: Remaining loyal and steadfast - unfailing; firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty. 

    This verse is a beautiful picture of both God's faithfulness and His goodness. God's faithfulness: God had been with them. God's goodness: They lacked nothing. The Israelites had wandered in the desert, in the wilderness, the barrenness, and He had been with them and provided for them. I often feel like I'm still walking through my wilderness, my barrenness. Like the Israelites, I too can question and complain. I mourn all that was lost... all that could have been... 

    

    We played this song during the worship set at church last week. This is not the first time I have heard this song, but for whatever reason, it hit different this time. The proclaiming of the faithfulness and goodness of God was a balm to my soul. It has stayed with me, coming to my mind when I needed to remember that I live IN the goodness of God. And I can trust Him. So if you are struggling, dear friend, know you are not alone. There is grace for the struggle, in the journey.

In His Love,

Christy

Truth be Told...

    Life has been hard lately... and just when I think I've finally got a handle on my emotions, something else happens to wreak havoc in my life and I once again feel like my emotions could swallow me up...

    A few weeks ago, I was going through old documents on my google drive, trying to clean them up, because why not? It wasn't like I had a million other things to do. But some of them weren't titled, and it was bothering me. 

    Anyway, one of the files I opened up was dated from October of last year, and contained some of my rambling thoughts that I wrote down. In a way, it felt like a letter to myself, reminding me of the truth I needed to hear. Because I don't know about you, but I tend to circle the same mountain, dealing with some of the same emotions and struggles. So I thought I would share them with you:

Worthless: as defined by Webster Dictionary - lacking worth, valueless. Useless.

Replaceable: capable of being replaced, expendable. 

Together, these two words have settled into my soul, and held me back. These two words have defined how I have filtered the world, regardless of if I knew it or not. I have felt left out, alone, undesirable. Forgotten. Unnoticed. Unimportant. I have kept myself so busy so as to not have to slow down and feel all of the emotions that are in my heart. I have kept my brain too busy, shoved everything down and pasted a smile on my face. "Fake it till you make it," right? Everything is fine. But I’m not fine. I’m struggling with feeling Forgotten, Inconsequential, Nonessential, Expendable. 

My heart hurts. How do I keep moving through? Every time I feel like things are starting to get better, more emotions rise to the surface, causing more pain and ache. Does this heartache have an end? Will it be like this forever? How long until the door opens? Am I beating against the wrong door? Am I never to be healed? Is this something I am just going to have to live with for the rest of my life? I just want to curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out.

But I don’t have time to wallow. You don’t want me to wallow. That doesn’t bring healing. The only way to have true healing is to look at the lies and compare them against the truth, and identify what is truth and what is a lie. What do You say about me? Who am I to You? I thought I had gotten past all of this. Why is this coming up again? Will I always struggle with feeling this way?

    Last week, a friend asked me how I was doing, and I didn't know how to answer the question - I don't know how I'm doing. I am not fine. I am far from fine. But I am not alone. And I am working on filtering out the lies from the truth.

    My son's favorite song right now is "Truth Be Told" by Matthew West. And I am eternally grateful for the truth in this song. So often I get bogged down by trying to do it all, be it all, take care of it all, and I don't take the time to stop and listen to Him.

    So, my dear friend, if you are not fine, I invite you to be honest. I will not judge you. I promise to have a hug, and maybe chocolate. Only when we walk in honesty and truth will healing be able to do its beautiful work. 

In His Love,

Christy

Thoughts

Standing in the Rain.

Hey guys... So it's been a couple of weeks since I posted anything. I got the flu, twice, in the space of a week. :/ NOT FUN! But it's finally all gone, and I'm feeling like I'm catching up on life again, so here I am. These past few weeks have been really hard. For the past two and a half years, I've worked at the daycare that is at our church. I have loved my job and the kids. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I ended up losing my job. It was very sudden and unexpected. My heart has been hurting since then. I know God has a plan in all of this, and a part of me is excited to see what happens, but on the other hand, it just doesn't make sense and that makes it difficult.
   See, I've battled feelings of inferiority for most of my teenage/adult life. Feeling like I'm not as important or worth as much others. I've known, to some extent, that that isn't the truth, but it hasn't changed how I felt. I've felt like I couldn't measure up to someone's idea of who or what I should be. I've been replaced, I'm not needed. I'm not valuable. These are all lies that I have believed for most of my life. And they have tried to wreak havoc in my life. I have striven for perfection in the hopes of proving the lies wrong. But they sat in the shadows, waiting for me to mess up and prove that they were right. They hounded my heels, causing me to question what I was doing and why. The other lie that has dodged my every step was one that didn't really sound like a lie. More like I thought that it was the way it was supposed to be. It masqueraded as humility, but really, it wanted to own me. The lie? I call it Just. I'm only a "just". I downplayed all that I am. My hair and eyes are just brown, I'm only so tall, I'm only an aide, I can only read notes, I can't hear music, etc. You name it, I downplayed it and discounted it. I've looked at others and thought about how much better they were than me. It sat there and whispered and fed the other lies. Just. Such a small word, yet when allowed, it toyed with my life and caused chaos and commotion. It's a lie that because "I'm only a 'just,' I don't matter as much. Others have more to say. Someone else can do it better."
   And not only was this a lie that caused me to doubt myself and God, but I used this lie as a shield to keep myself safe. That way, others couldn't discount me. If I didn't reach out and try for things, no one could say that I failed. Or that I didn't measure up. Or I wasn't good enough. Or whatever. It didn't really matter, I just didn't want to be belittled or made fun of. To be made like I didn't matter.
   But it doesn't matter what other people say about me. Because all of those lies are just that. Lies. They aren't what God says about me. He says that He CHOSE me. He called me by name. I don't need to prove anything to anyone because I am His. I am His beloved. And nothing is wasted. Everything works together for my good. And He knows the plans that He has for me, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
   These are all thoughts that have been mulling around in my brain for the past few months... And then I lost my job. And you know what? Those lies didn't rear their ugly heads. God has been working on my heart, and I know that it is all going to be okay. Am I sad? You bet! But this I know for sure: God is in control. He is my Beloved, and I am His. He is hiding me in the shadow of His wings, and the storm can't get to me. I just have to chose to trust Him. I'll be honest, though, some days are easier than others. I grieve for all that was lost. But I don't wallow in the lies that I am a failure. Did I mess up? Yes, I didn't do it all perfectly. But that doesn't make me a failure. It just means that I am human. And in my humanness, mistakes were made. I'm working on my flaws, and striving to live as Christ has called me. I'm not perfect, but He is perfect in me. And one day, I'll be mature. Mostly. :) There's a part of me that will always remain childlike, but I like that part of me. :)
   I apologize for the length, but hopefully this has encouraged you as much as it has encouraged me. For in putting all these thoughts into words, He has reminded me that I'm not alone, and He is good. And nothing happens that isn't going to be good for me.

In His Love,
   Christy

Music Mix-Up Mondays #33

Hey Everyone... I know I haven't blogged in about a year, but one of my "new year resolutions" has been to blog more. Obviously, that hasn't happened yet. But, "every day is fresh, with no mistakes in it yet," and I'm starting fresh today. :) So, since today is Monday, and Monday is my music day, I'd thought I'd start with a music video. This week, I picked a song from my church's women's retreat that happened a couple of weeks ago. I've heard this song a bazillion times before, but this time, God used it in a new way for me. The song is called "Forever Reign" by Hillsong.




In the second verse it says, "You are peace, You are peace when my fear is crippling, You are true, You are true, even in my wandering. You are joy, You are joy, You're the reason that I sing. You are life, You are life, in You death has lost its sting." and the phrase, "in You death has lost its sting" jumped out at me. I've always thought that it was talking about physical death, which is true. But there was so much more that God had for me. This is what He showed me:
   Not just physical death at the end of my life. But the death of the lies that I have believed, the friendships that are lost, the dreams that have been shattered, the innocence that has been ripped away, the emotions that were trample on, the freedom that was cut off. They will be restored by His power. The power of the enemy is gone. The sting has been replaced by my Heavenly Father's love, by the grace of Jesus, until the only thing left in me is His light and truth. I have no need to walk in the pain of death.

So that is my encouragement to you today. Don't walk in the pain of death, whatever form it may take in your life. It does not need to have power over your life. Jesus died to take it away. Run to His arms, for only there can one be made whole again.

In His Love,
Christy

Music Mix-Up Mondays #32

    Hello Everyone... Well, I wanted to start blogging more back in January, but life has a way of getting in the way. :) So, I'm starting now. And I'm going to be making a few changes around here, hopefully. I'm moving the Music-Mix Up posts to Monday (not that you could tell that there actually WAS an assigned day for it), to help jump-start your week with some awesome music.
   Right now is when I would usually start talking about whatever song I was going to be sharing, and why I like it. But I'm not actually doing a song today. Yesterday at church, they showed this amazing video, and I thought I'd share it with all of you. It's called "That's My King" by Dr. S.M. Lockridge.


   This video was so challenging to me, as it reminded me once again, just how great and amazing the God I serve is. Sometimes I feel like that gets lost in the day-to-day humdrum activities of life. I keep on rolling down my path, and the days go by, and sometimes it is easy to forget just how great and powerful my King truly is.
   I debated about sharing this video with you today, or posting it a different day, but it goes so well with the first one, that I've decided to add it. This video is called "The Gospel" put out by Eric Ludy and the Ellerslie Mission Society. And as Easter was yesterday, the timing seemed fitting.



   I hope you all have a wonderful Monday, and may these videos encourage you as they have encouraged me, to keep on keeping on.
   In His Love,
      Christy

Snapshot of Life

Hello Everyone... I hope you all are having a wonderful summer.  God has been so good to me - my summer has been amazing so far, and I'm so excited to see how the rest of this year plays out.

Earlier this summer, as school was getting done, my hours at work were going to be drastically cut. But God provides, and sent more children to the daycare for the summer.  So I have been working every day, which has been such a blessing.  I love my job.  I work at a MAG Childcare - it's a daycare that is in my church.  Some days it's stressful or long, and I leave going, "I'm never having children!" :) But then there are the days were everything goes the way it's supposed to, and the children are little dears, and I feel like my life has purpose. (And yes, I still want to have children lol)

I've joined the worship team at our church!  It was never something that I ever sought out, but I have been so blessed to be a part of it. I currently play the keyboard, but soon they are going to move me to the piano.  That will be an interesting experience.  I've played the piano for many years, but only started learning chords a few months ago.  But God has blessed me with a passion for worship, and I'm learning to trust Him in a different way. :)

I'm also involved with our children's ministries at church. I have learned so much, and count it a privilege to serve.  I went with our church to Kid's camp this year as a counselor.  That was such a stretching experience for me.  It definitely opened my eyes and made me rethink some things. At one point, I lost my phone, but God was looking out for me, and it got returned to me within an hour.

I am so amazed by all God has been doing in my life.  A couple of weeks ago, I was scheduled to play keys for worship, and I had overslept my alarm, and was scrambling to get ready. I left late, and as I went to go get in my truck, it wouldn't start. I was so frustrated, because I was already behind, so I ran back inside, grabbed my dad's keys, and took his car to church.  All in all, I was only ten minutes late, but I felt like I was behind, and trying to get plugged in and set up and all that, and inwardly I was just stressing.  And it was like God just tapped me on the shoulder and went, "Hey, open your eyes. Do you even realize where you are?" And I stopped grumbling and stressing and just paused and realized, I was somewhere I'd never thought I'd be, but I didn't want to be anywhere else. So what if the car didn't start and the morning didn't go how I planned? God is in control, and I am loved.

I'm currently reading through "My Utmost For His Highest" as my devotional, and this little snippet just stood out to me the other day.  "God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious."

Psalm 63: 6-8: When I remember You on my bed, I mediate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.
Amen and Amen

In His Love,
   Christy

What If? (UBC #15)

  The theme for my church this year is "What If....?"  What if you changed one thing this year about your walk with God, what would 2012 look like compared to 2010?
   Lately I have been really wrestling with some things, especially now that I've lost my two jobs, and just really trying to understand why it happened.  One night last week, I just said to God, "I don't understand. Why did this happen?"  And clear as a bell, He said, "It isn't for you to ask for understanding, or to ask why.  Instead ask How."
    So.... What if I asked God How He wanted me to live, to love?  And then actually walked it out?  What would my life look like?  How would that change my life and in turn, change the lives of those around me?  What if I walked in love and grace instead of selfishness and indifference?  It won't be easy, that's for sure!  Going against my fleshly nature isn't something I do very well, but I know if I want to grow closer to God, I need to mature.  Honestly, I'd been really struggling with juggling all of the things that I had to take care of, and just asking God what He really wants me to be doing with my life. 
   Now I'm currently jobless, and I don't know exactly what I'm going to be doing.  But I'm okay with that.  And now I can really focus on some things in my life that I need to work on.  And maybe do some of those projects that I haven't had time for.  I'm actually almost excited.  Life is an adventure, and God has the map.  I'll keep you all posted on how the journey is going. 
    In His Love,
       Christy

Valentine's Day....

Valentine's Day... A day that is supposed to be spent with your significant other...
    Or, as some are painfully aware... A reminder that one is "lacking" a significant other....
The question is.... how can one person "lack" something if God has seen fit to not allow it?  Can you "lack" a significant other?  This year I have been really challenged in my own heart to open my eyes and look around me... and I've realized a couple of things...
   First - I'm really and truly blessed.  I have a loving mother and father who support me and want me to be all that God wants me to be.  I have wonderful siblings and amazing friends.  Who am I to complain?  Or question where God has me? 
  Second, who knows what tomorrow may bring?  What if I've wasted the time that could have been spent being with and enjoying those who are in my life today and something happens and I don't get a second chance? 
   And lastly, God is Love.  He is my Everything.  Isaiah says, "For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, who is called the God of all the earth." (Isaiah 54:5)  If I truly believe that, then I am most definitely not lacking in anything.
   So, today, I just want to encourage you all to love your Heavenly Father.  He always gives good gifts to His children.  And love those who are in your life today.    They may not be there tomorrow....

In His Love,
   Christy

Beautiful...

I heard this song on the radio and it really spoke to my heart.... Be blessed, and know that you are loved.

In His Love,
   Christy

Rambling thoughts from the Cinnamon Coffee girl... :)

   Okay, so I'm sitting here, thinking, "I really should put up a new blog post.  I haven't posted since before Christmas, and here it is half way through January.  But what in the world would am I going to post about?"  But, as I'm drinking my coffee, a funny story comes to mind, so I'll start with that.
   This week had been a bit of a drag so far.  The weekend had been so much fun.  My good friend Alyssa came and spent the whole weekend over at our house.  We had so much fun.  Bekah, Alyssa and I went to Jo-Ann's and looked at fabric for a period dress.  Alyssa and I are planning on going to an English Country Ball in March, so we need a period dress.  And I introduced her to Gilmore Girls.  And it was great fun.  But Monday started out as a drag, and the week didn't seem to get any better.  I found out that my hours were going to be cut at work.  It's winter time, so there isn't as much business so I end up with nothing to do.  Makes sense, but still, I've got a lot of things I want to do that cost money... But, I'm rabbit trailing here.
   Anyway, Today was interesting.  I met with Pastor Robin this morning to talk about working with the children's ministries.  I'm so excited about getting involved in a church again.  More on that later.
   This afternoon Bekah and I took my sister Annie to her literature class this afternoon, and then while she was in class, Bekah and I went to go get coffee at Kwik Trip.  We'd been in yesterday, and they were out of cinnamon coffee, hot chocolate, and the syrup for the sprite was out too.  My favorite combination at Kwik Trip is Cinnamon Coffee with Hot Chocolate, and a bit of Cinnamon Creamer.  YUMMY!  Anyway, so we went in today, and they were, again, out of cinnamon coffee.  Bekah and I were rather bummed, and we both lamented out loud that the Cinnamon Coffee was out.  Behind the counter was someone who was making the coffee, and it turns out she was the store manager.  She was making the Cinnamon Coffee, and after hearing about how we didn't get the coffee that we wanted yesterday, said that the coffee was on the house, and we were allowed to get a free soda as well.  She then made some comment about how she needs to hire someone just to make coffee, and I said that I was working for a job.  I asked if she had time to do an interview today and she asked if I had filled out an application.  I hadn't, but I would go home, fill out an application and I would call her.  I went home, filled out an application, and called her.  However, I realized that I hadn't really introduced myself, so telling the person who answered the phone my name would do her no good.  So, I told him, "This is Christy.  Tell her I'm the Cinnamon Coffee girl."  So, tomorrow she is going to call me and we will talk about setting up an interview. At least she will never forget me. :)
  I've also started taking ASL II this semester, and I think I'm going to enjoy it.  It is challenging, but I'm feeling up for a good challenge.  And I'm looking into taking a semester and going to Colorado to take the Ellerslie Leadership Training.  So, this year looks like it could be a really interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing what God has planned for me.  I'll keep you posted!!

   In His Love,
        Christy

Bridging the Great Divide....

I was in church last Sunday, and they were having an intercessory prayer session instead of a regular sermon. I was sitting there, just praying - I really don't remember about what, in all honesty... But there are a few issues in my life that I haven't really been dealing with. Sometimes it is easier to pretend that they aren't really there and hope they go away. But they never do... And like always, God knew what I need to focus on... My heart needs healing & I need to trust Him again. Hence, the following...
"What do I do when the pain is so deep I'm not sure I can trust again?" I prayed. "The pain is like a volcanic chasm, a Great Divide that separates me from You... I know that Jesus can and will heal all wounds. The cross is the bridge that crosses the Great Divide, but I'm afraid. I try and cross, but every time I seem to be getting across and doing better, something happens and I feel like I'm back at the beginning again. If Your love is real, then why is it this way? I want to cross this chasm, but I'm afraid.... I'm afraid of the fire and of falling. Will You really catch me? How can I trust You again?"
And then He answered me in a story, a word picture, if you will...
There was a great chasm, with a river of lava flowing through it. There was a girl on one side and she kept trying to get to the other side. There was a wooden cross that was the bridge, narrow, rough, and wobbly. Slowly, she put one foot in front of the other. Every now and then the bridge would wobble. Once or twice she was crawling, but always moving forward... Finally, after what seemed like forever, she made it across. She stood for a moment, then started walking away from the chasm. Before she got too far away, she looked over her shoulder back at the chasm and saw what she couldn't see when she was crossing - an army of angels surrounding the cross. Huge, mighty warriors, as far as the eye could see, standing guard over the precious daughter of God, sent by her loving All Mighty, Protective Father.
And that's when I knew.... I might not "feel" like I have faith in God. I might still be trying to cross the chasm. But this I know, I must keep moving forward. Even if only a crawl.... For I believe His angels are keeping guard always. And nothing happens that He doesn't know about... Nothing.
So Lord, help me to keep moving forward. Towards You and not away from You. Towards healing and away from anger. Towards trust and faith and away from discontentment and pride. Towards love and away from selfishness. Towards you and away from my own will. Towards peace and healing... The journey will not be easy, I know that, but I can't not go forward. I love You, Lord...

Pouring Out:: Pouring Into Others as He Pours Into Us

Pouring into Others.... What exactly does that mean?
I don't suppose we could all go around dumping water on each other's heads, even though that idea could be really fun in the summertime. Well, that is our topic for today's discussion.
Hello and welcome to Beloved Follower's first post in a series. This month I will be doing a challenge issued by Critty Joy. What is the challenge, you may ask? Well, stay tuned and find out!

In other news: My ASL class is going well. I am slightly overwhelmed by the amount of words that have been thrown at me, but I think I will survive. :o) It is going to be a fascinating and wild ride, so stay tuned for more news from the life of Christy!

And we're back! Now, September's challenge is Pouring into Others - but doing it intentionally. The idea behind "Pouring Out" is to pour into others as He as poured into you. In other words, pass it on. This month's challenge is to pick one person - it could be anyone: a sibling, a parent, a neighbor, a friend, a relative - whoever God lays on your heart. Someone who is going through a hard time, or just someone that you want to bless. The point is to spend the next 28 days intentionally pouring into them in a unique and special way that encourages them. At the end of the month, Critty will host a link link up where you post on your blog your reflections, opinions, and thoughts about Pouring Out and into the other person. If you want more information, you can go to her blog here
I am looking forward to this month, and I hope you will join me! I am so excited to see how God is going to use this to bless other people!

In His Love,
Christy