When life doesn't look like the Faithfulness of God

    Sometimes, life is a struggle. Sometimes, a day feels like an entire week; sometimes a week feels like a whole month. And sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel seems like it is moving farther and farther away. This past week has felt like that. And I realized today that there are times I have doubted the goodness of God.

    Don't misunderstand me. I do not doubt that God is good. It is part of His character, the makeup of Who God is. But I doubted that, in the midst of all of the hard and life's struggles, that there was goodness in my life. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that God was providing for me and taking care of me, but it didn't always feel good. I did not doubt His faithfulness, but I doubted His goodness. There were good days, and good moments, but it is easy to be overwhelmed by all of the everything, for lack of a better way to describe it.

    

So then I started to wonder... do I maybe have a wrong understanding of what the goodness of God is? Have I allowed society's interpretation of what is good, or what should be good, to filter how I perceive the good that God has done in my life? Being the word nerd that I am, I went digging. What exactly is the difference between goodness and faithfulness? Is there even a difference?

    I started with a verse my pastor used in his Sunday sermon this past week: Deuteronomy 2:7

    "For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hand. He knows your trudging through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing."

    I then did some diving and compiled a comprehensive definition of both goodness and faithfulness. 

    Goodness: Quality of being morally good/virtuous. Quality or state of being kind, honest, generous, helpful, etc. Synonyms include: holy, pure, righteousness.

    Faithfulness: Remaining loyal and steadfast - unfailing; firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty. 

    This verse is a beautiful picture of both God's faithfulness and His goodness. God's faithfulness: God had been with them. God's goodness: They lacked nothing. The Israelites had wandered in the desert, in the wilderness, the barrenness, and He had been with them and provided for them. I often feel like I'm still walking through my wilderness, my barrenness. Like the Israelites, I too can question and complain. I mourn all that was lost... all that could have been... 

    

    We played this song during the worship set at church last week. This is not the first time I have heard this song, but for whatever reason, it hit different this time. The proclaiming of the faithfulness and goodness of God was a balm to my soul. It has stayed with me, coming to my mind when I needed to remember that I live IN the goodness of God. And I can trust Him. So if you are struggling, dear friend, know you are not alone. There is grace for the struggle, in the journey.

In His Love,

Christy

"Alive and Breathing"

 Hello Friends...

    Where to start? This is actually a question that I wrestle with on a regular basis - how does one start to explain everything that has happened? When one is in the middle of the mess, it is hard to see both the beginning and the ending.

    And the last seven years have been a mess. They've been full of the hard, the struggle, the long road with no end in sight. Filled with a weariness that has seeped into the very marrow of my bones and felt like it would never leave. And I am sure I am not the only one who has felt this way.

    I do not say this to invoke pity or to make you feel sorry for me. I say it because it is the truth. However, it is not the only truth from the last seven years. For I have not walked this hard, long road alone. I know, deep in my soul, that I would not have survived if it wasn't for Jesus. And as I try and figure out what my new normal looks like, I am thankful that I don't have to have the answers, I don't have to know everything. I simply sit at His feet and ask Him what He would have me do. It might be simple, but it is not easy.

    At some point, I am sure, I will share more about everything that has happened in the last seven years. But I won't overwhelm you with everything in one blog post. 😊 

    But in the meantime, I thought I'd share a song that has really spoken to me in the last few months. I don't know about you, but for me, music has always been a way that truth speaks to my heart. There is something about putting words and music together that gives them an ability to be heard in a different way. There have been a few that I have treasured and listened to on repeat over the years. Some have been more quiet, meditative, reflective songs, while others are ones that you blast while you drive with your windows rolled down. This song is one of the latter, and with the lovely fall weather we are currently having, it has been idyllic.

   Alive and Breathing

    If you ask me how I'm doing, I'll probably say, "Alive and Breathing," and this will be what I am thinking of. I hope this song encourages you as much as it encourages me. That you take a moment to stop and breathe. To feel the sunshine on your face, or rain, depending on your weather. May the goodness of God fill your heart and remind you that you are deeply, passionately loved by the One who made you and knows you intimately.

In His Love,

Christy

Music Mix-Up Monday #38

Geoff, Tony, me, Layne, Eli, and Earl

Well, last Friday I went to a show at school. One of the perks of being a student at St. Kate's is that I don't have to pay for my ticket. And I'm so glad I went to see VoicePlay. They are AMAZING!!! The video I'm about to show you isn't from Friday night, but they did do this skit on Friday night. I've watched the video at least three times since Friday night. And it still makes me laugh. The talent that these five guys possess is just amazing. I know, I said that already, but this video is hysterical. I feel like the more times I see it, the funnier it gets. So if it doesn't seem all that funny the first time, try again. It might rub off on you. If it still doesn't seem funny, then you need a therapist. Oh, and watch it full screen. Their faces are just hilarious!



So, I hope your Monday is a little brighter. :) I know mine is. (as I watch it again.) Well, I'm off to go finish homework for school tomorrow. Have a wonderful start to your week!

In His Love,
Christy

Music Mix-Up Monday #37

Hey all! Life has been so busy, but I'm trying to make time to keep up with this blog. :) This song has been running through my head the past few days, so I thought I'd share my insanity with you all! :) Today has been a busy but productive day. How about the rest of y'all? (I had coffee today, and I'm feeling like I'm flying! :D Thanks, Mom!)




My sisters have been singing this song a lot this past week. Loving like I'm not scared and taking time for others are things that I have been thinking a lot about lately. But the more that I look to God, the more He gives me the courage to live my daily life. I hope this song picks you up and encourages you! I'm off to finish my homework! Have a great Monday, and keep your eyes fixed on the One who makes life worth living!!

In His Love,
Christy

Music Mix Up Mondays #36

Happy Easter everyone! Yes, I know it was yesterday. :) When I was younger, we used to be involved in the play that our church did for Easter. We called it a Passion Play. And this was one of the songs that they used to sing during the crucifixion scene. It is still one of my favorites. "Down the Via Dolorosa" by Sandy Patti.




In His Love,
 Christy

Music Mix-Up Mondays #35

Happy Monday everyone! I hope you are all having a wonderful start to your week. In my devotions, I've been focusing a lot on how life isn't really about me, but about God. And what that looks like lived out. I mean, I've known that for most of my life, but what does it look like in reality? How am I letting that fact change my life? One of the things I've been working on is looking for the positive, and being thankful for what I have, instead of ungrateful for what I don't. I know that sounds really elementary, but sometimes it's good to go back to the roots and work on making the foundation stronger. So, with that in mind, and with Easter just around the corner, I thought I'd do "Praise the King," sung by Cindy Morgan.

Without Him, life isn't worth living. And I know how easy it is to get caught up in the hum of busy life. Been there, done that. But it's good to stop and just say, Thank You. And remember all that He does for us.

In His Love,
Christy

Music Mix-Up Mondays #34

Hey All! So these past few days have been really hard, as I've had something unexpected happen in my life. It was a shock, and it's been really hard and sad. No, no one died or anything. :) But it still hurts and is sad. And yesterday, my mother showed me this hysterical video that I thought I'd share. If you haven't heard of the movie Frozen yet, then you really must be living under a rock or in the forest. :) This is the song, "Let it Go," sung by a young man doing many favorite and beloved Disny & Pixar voices. Enjoy!
Which character was your favorite? I really like Winnie the Pooh. Or Goofy. :) I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, and it brought a smile to your day! :) In His Love, Christy

Music Mix-Up Mondays #33

Hey Everyone... I know I haven't blogged in about a year, but one of my "new year resolutions" has been to blog more. Obviously, that hasn't happened yet. But, "every day is fresh, with no mistakes in it yet," and I'm starting fresh today. :) So, since today is Monday, and Monday is my music day, I'd thought I'd start with a music video. This week, I picked a song from my church's women's retreat that happened a couple of weeks ago. I've heard this song a bazillion times before, but this time, God used it in a new way for me. The song is called "Forever Reign" by Hillsong.




In the second verse it says, "You are peace, You are peace when my fear is crippling, You are true, You are true, even in my wandering. You are joy, You are joy, You're the reason that I sing. You are life, You are life, in You death has lost its sting." and the phrase, "in You death has lost its sting" jumped out at me. I've always thought that it was talking about physical death, which is true. But there was so much more that God had for me. This is what He showed me:
   Not just physical death at the end of my life. But the death of the lies that I have believed, the friendships that are lost, the dreams that have been shattered, the innocence that has been ripped away, the emotions that were trample on, the freedom that was cut off. They will be restored by His power. The power of the enemy is gone. The sting has been replaced by my Heavenly Father's love, by the grace of Jesus, until the only thing left in me is His light and truth. I have no need to walk in the pain of death.

So that is my encouragement to you today. Don't walk in the pain of death, whatever form it may take in your life. It does not need to have power over your life. Jesus died to take it away. Run to His arms, for only there can one be made whole again.

In His Love,
Christy

Music Mix-Up Mondays #32

    Hello Everyone... Well, I wanted to start blogging more back in January, but life has a way of getting in the way. :) So, I'm starting now. And I'm going to be making a few changes around here, hopefully. I'm moving the Music-Mix Up posts to Monday (not that you could tell that there actually WAS an assigned day for it), to help jump-start your week with some awesome music.
   Right now is when I would usually start talking about whatever song I was going to be sharing, and why I like it. But I'm not actually doing a song today. Yesterday at church, they showed this amazing video, and I thought I'd share it with all of you. It's called "That's My King" by Dr. S.M. Lockridge.


   This video was so challenging to me, as it reminded me once again, just how great and amazing the God I serve is. Sometimes I feel like that gets lost in the day-to-day humdrum activities of life. I keep on rolling down my path, and the days go by, and sometimes it is easy to forget just how great and powerful my King truly is.
   I debated about sharing this video with you today, or posting it a different day, but it goes so well with the first one, that I've decided to add it. This video is called "The Gospel" put out by Eric Ludy and the Ellerslie Mission Society. And as Easter was yesterday, the timing seemed fitting.



   I hope you all have a wonderful Monday, and may these videos encourage you as they have encouraged me, to keep on keeping on.
   In His Love,
      Christy

Music Mix-Up Post 31

  Recently, there has been a lot of new things going on in my life, and my biggest enemy has risen to fight me. Looking at me, and how I live my life, one wouldn't guess, but I battle with fear a lot. Fear of being hurt, fear of failing, fear of man, etc... It usually rears it's ugly head whenever I take my eyes off of Jesus and start looking at the raging waters all around me. (Matthew 14:30)  Anyway, recently I added Jason Gray to my iTunes, and I was listening to this song this morning, and I thought I would share it with you. So, may I present, "No Thief Like Fear," by Jason Gray.







This song just spoke to my heart today, reminding that we aren't called to live in fear. One verse that I have been meditating on is 1st John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (NKJV)  It has been an exciting but scary ride these past few months, and I'm working on continuing to trust my God and King. I know that He always has my good in mind, and has the most amazing plan in mind.  So, I continue to press on, being willing to do what He has called me to do, even if I'm doing it afraid. 

  In His Love,
     Christy

Music Mix-up Post 30 (Ellerslie Post 8)

    One of the things that has been really fun that we've done here is a reading aloud of "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe."  They have never done it before, and it was a HUGE hit!  I didn't want it to end, but C.S. Lewis didn't read my mind. :)
    Anyway, I loved this song from the second movie: "Prince Caspian," so I thought I'd share that this week.  So, may I present, "The Call," by Regina Spektor.





I hope you all enjoy this song, and next time, hopefully, I'll play some Christmas music! :)  I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

   In His Love,
       Christy

Music Mix-up Post 29 (Ellerslie Post 4)

I did a lot of vacillating over what song to post - I know that it hasn't been very regular since I've been gone, but I simply decided that that's okay. :)  Anyway, this post's Music Mix-up is *drum roll* "Jesus, I am Resting."



This is a song that I've had running through my head a lot lately.  I've never heard it before I got here, but it has rapidly become one of my favorite songs of all.

I hope you all have a good week, and that this song encourages you as much as it has encouraged me. :)

    In His Love,
         Christy

Music Mix-up Post 28

This song makes my heart smile.... "Voices," by Chris Young






And yes, I hear the voices too! :) 


  In His Love,
       Christy

Music Mix-up Post 27

   This song is one that I've had on reserve for a while now, waiting for the right moment.... And tonight seems like the right night.  May I present, "Painting Pictures of Egypt," by Sara Groves.



  

     This week's song has been very encouraging to me...  So often I can find myself in the land of "if only" or "should have been" and I lose sight of the future and where I'm going.  Or I look to the future and wonder how in the world is it all going to work out... And the past feels safer... Past habits, past ways of dealing with life feel comfortable and I want to go back to them, but I realize I can't do that... It isn't who I am anymore, and the past doesn't fit. 
    In eight days I leave for Ellerslie... A part of me just simply cannot wait until I get there, and experience everything that I can, and learn everything that God has for me...   But there is also a small part of me that is terrified...  I don't know how this is going to change me... People ask me what I'm going to do with everything I learn there... Honestly, I'm not sure I know exactly...  I only know that I need to go.  So in faith, I'm stepping forward.  God has given the illumination for this step... I'll let Him show me the next step when it's His time...

   In His Love,
      Christy

Music Mix-up Post 26

This song has been stuck in my head for a while... I tried to get it out, but it remains.... :) So, I'm going to get it stuck in your head now! May I present, "Oh, You Can't Get to Heaven," a song for fun and laughter.





And this one I just thought was too cute.... You have to listen to all the verses, though!  *giggles*  And yes, I am only five years old some times!!






Keep on smiling!!
   
     In His Love,
             Christy

Music Mix-up Post 25

Last night my father, two of my sisters, and I finished watching The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.  And, as usual, I cried my way through the final hour of Return of the King.  TLORT has some of the most amazing music, and I thought I'd share the ending song with y'all.  (I know, this post is a few days delayed, but life has been crazy lately.  I do apologize, though.)
   Anyway, may I present: Into the West by Annie Lennox....





This is probably one of my favorite songs from this movie... it so haunting & tragically beautiful..... Most of the words are taken from a scene with Gandalf & Pippin are waiting for the enemy to attack another level of Minas Tirith. (just in case any of you were wondering. :D )

  In His Love,
     Christy

Music Mix-up Post 24

This song seemed fitting after the past few weeks.... I don't really have a whole lot to say about it this week...  I'll let the song speak for itself.  "It Is Not Death to Die," by Sovereign Grace Music.






In His Love,
    Christy

Music Mix-up Post 23

I was trying to find a good song for this week, and this one really stood out to me.  "I Won't Let Go," by Rascal Flatts.





I love how this song speaks of courage and hope.  In life, we are never truly alone.  God has given us fellow believers to come along side of us when we can't go on alone.  We were never meant to be alone....
    If you have a special friend in your life who is always there, no matter what, then be sure to tell them how much they mean to you...  Friends like that are rare, and a treasure.
   In His Love,
      Christy

Music Mix-up Post 22

This week has been a very long one... but I heard this song on my Pandora yesterday, and thought it fit perfectly.




My prayer is that I won't run from the pain, but let God do His work in me...
   In His Love,
      Christy

When I Get Where I'm Going.... (UBC #30)

I heard this song a long time ago, but for whatever reason (life, maybe) it's been running around my head the past few days..... "When I Get Where I'm Going," by Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton



A part of me just can't wait to be truly home once and for all....
   In His Love,
      Christy