...Waiting...

    Hello, my beautiful friends... any of you ever feel like you are stuck in a holding pattern? Like, no matter what you are doing, nothing ever changes? No, just me? That's ok. I don't mind. Because I know I'm not really alone in this feeling.

    Because, if we were all honest, we'd be able to say that we never thought life would be this hard. That when we were kids, we never imagined life would turn out the way that it did... that dreams that we thought would come true turned out to be a living nightmare. Or they never happened. Or the cost was higher than we expected. Or... fill in the blank with your own hard. Because we all have it. Regardless of the Instagram pictures or the Facebook posts of all the perfection, we all have hard. And oftentimes we feel stuck. I know I do. 

    But guess what, friends? We aren't alone when we are waiting. God is with us. And there is such a relief in letting go of trying to figure it out on your own. Because I struggle with that. Especially lately. There have been some challenges that I'm trying to figure out how to navigate, and there are times when I feel oh so very alone. I know I'm not alone, I have friends and family who care and are willing to be helpful, but it is so easy to feel alone. Especially when things are hard. So I have turned to the One who is always there. And like always, He is right there, with Hope for the waiting. 

    I'm currently doing "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer, and there's a quote that has stood out to me (I mean, there are many, but I'm limiting myself to one, maybe two for this post), "The Architect of your life knows exactly what He is doing... All you can do is fully engage in the task before you today, believing that 'all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose' (Rom 8:28 CSB). Never think that your circumstances are disconnected from His leading and His will." And I love that, because it is so easy to get caught up in trying to figure things out, and trying to make things happen, but all I have to do is to keep on doing what He's asked of me, and to keep waiting. And He will take care of the rest.

    So while I've been mulling over all of that, He hits me with this song. And I love how He just drops songs into my life when I need them. He knows that music is part of the heartbeat of my life, and He uses it to encourage and challenge me.

    

    So just know, my beautiful friend, that you are not alone in your waiting. Whatever that may look like in your life. Take courage, and hold on to your hope, because He is never failing. 

In His Love and Hope,

Christy

Building Boats and Burning Ships: Part 2

    Whelp... I had planned on blogging weekly this year, but we can see how well that has been going for me. To be honest, I have started and restarted this post so many times. But my emotions were bigger than the page, and I didn't have words to express them. And every time I sat down to blog, I sat there empty and swallowed up by my emotions. So, I waited. And clearly, kept on waiting. Every so often I would open up this page and stare at it, trying to figure out what to say, how to say it... 

    ...because, my friend, life is hard. My word for last year and now this year is "Hope", and let me tell you, last year was an emotionally exhausting year. In January, our church was offering a grief class, and I was not prepared for how draining it is to process grief. Because let's be honest, no one really talks about grief, and how exhausting it can be. And I don't know why there was so much grief, because it had been a few years since my divorce. Maybe enough time had gone by that I was at a place that I could properly process it, I'm not sure, but it hit me like a freight train. 

    But I kept going, because, you know, there are bills to pay and I have a child to take care of. Life has to be lived, even in the midst of all sorts of hard things. And I knew that, with Jesus, I would make it through. He had been faithful so far, and would continue to be faithful. He had promised in His Word, and I clung to that. 

    Because I never wanted to be divorced. I really didn't. I had no choice. But that's another story for another time. The point is, we all have hard things that we don't want to go through, that leave us with wounds and grief. And sometimes unhealthy coping skills, too. I'm still working on fixing some of mine. You do the best that you can in the moment that you are in. And then, when the time is right, Jesus is like, hey, you know that thing you are doing, and that wound you have? How about you let Me take that from you and help you heal from it? Because He is good that way. He wants us to live healed lives. 

    So in processing a lot of my grief, I had a choice to make - was I going to let the pain of my divorce define my life, forever tying myself to one horrific event, or was I going to let go of the hurt, and the right to be angry, and walk forward in His redeeming grace?

    

    This song has meant a lot to me over the past few months, as I have pondered what it looks like to  "step in to a new day". Outwardly, not much has changed - I still have my same job, go to the same church, my son goes to the same school. But inwardly, my heart feels different. I am burning the old ships and building my new boat. Because what God has is so much more than I can even begin to imagine. And He wants the same for you, too, my beautiful friend. If you are willing to trust Him in this hard process. Will you join me?

In His Love and Hope,

Christy

When You Live with Grief...

This week.... this week has been a hard week...

    Not only have I been sick (ear infections are NOT FUN!) and work has been SUPER stressful (if you know someone in retail, bring them coffee/tea and a hug), but it has also been five years since my whole world came crashing down around me. 

    The week of Thanksgiving, 2016, I learned that my then-spouse of three years had been lying to me for two and a half years, ever since I had had my miscarriage. I was, at the time, in school full time with a one year old son. And the one thing I thought would never happen was happening. 

    Even now, I'm not entirely sure how I got through the first week. One foot in front of the other, basically. My brain shut down, and I couldn't even think my way out of a paper bag. But I remember having to go to the in-laws for Thanksgiving, because that had been the plan. I remember feeling trapped, stuck in a situation I didn't know how to get out of. Trying to be cheerful and smile through it all. It was horrible. We separated a week later. But that is another story for another time.

    This year, Ryan spent Thanksgiving with his dad. And I curled into a ball on my bed and cried. This isn't the first time we have spent Thanksgiving apart, but it is the first time I've had the space to feel it. To grieve all that has been lost. Did I have a lovely day? Also yes. Some of my sisters and their families came over, we ate good food, and watched "Hoodwinked" and "The Great British Baking Show".

    But, at the same time, the grief was still there. I don't know why this year was harder than other years. Maybe because this year has been a year with a lot of emotions; maybe because this was the first time I've had time to actually process what I'm feeling inside instead of shoving it down and moving on, dealing with the next problem. Or ignoring it and hoping it goes away. News flash: it doesn't. The grief and pain just sit there and leak out sideways. Or come back when you least expect it. 

    Do I believe that I did what God wanted me to do? Absolutely. Would I do anything different? No. I don't believe there was anything I could have done that would have resulted in a different outcome. Still doesn't make the grief any less real. And some days I'm completely fine, and then there are the days where I hide in the bathroom at work because I can't keep a polite smile on my face any longer. Am I dreading the holidays this year? A little. It doesn't get easier, it is simply learning how to live in the new normal. I am grateful I do not walk this journey alone. 

    If you are walking through grief, of whatever kind, for whatever reason, I will be praying for you.

In His Love,

Christy

Truth be Told...

    Life has been hard lately... and just when I think I've finally got a handle on my emotions, something else happens to wreak havoc in my life and I once again feel like my emotions could swallow me up...

    A few weeks ago, I was going through old documents on my google drive, trying to clean them up, because why not? It wasn't like I had a million other things to do. But some of them weren't titled, and it was bothering me. 

    Anyway, one of the files I opened up was dated from October of last year, and contained some of my rambling thoughts that I wrote down. In a way, it felt like a letter to myself, reminding me of the truth I needed to hear. Because I don't know about you, but I tend to circle the same mountain, dealing with some of the same emotions and struggles. So I thought I would share them with you:

Worthless: as defined by Webster Dictionary - lacking worth, valueless. Useless.

Replaceable: capable of being replaced, expendable. 

Together, these two words have settled into my soul, and held me back. These two words have defined how I have filtered the world, regardless of if I knew it or not. I have felt left out, alone, undesirable. Forgotten. Unnoticed. Unimportant. I have kept myself so busy so as to not have to slow down and feel all of the emotions that are in my heart. I have kept my brain too busy, shoved everything down and pasted a smile on my face. "Fake it till you make it," right? Everything is fine. But I’m not fine. I’m struggling with feeling Forgotten, Inconsequential, Nonessential, Expendable. 

My heart hurts. How do I keep moving through? Every time I feel like things are starting to get better, more emotions rise to the surface, causing more pain and ache. Does this heartache have an end? Will it be like this forever? How long until the door opens? Am I beating against the wrong door? Am I never to be healed? Is this something I am just going to have to live with for the rest of my life? I just want to curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out.

But I don’t have time to wallow. You don’t want me to wallow. That doesn’t bring healing. The only way to have true healing is to look at the lies and compare them against the truth, and identify what is truth and what is a lie. What do You say about me? Who am I to You? I thought I had gotten past all of this. Why is this coming up again? Will I always struggle with feeling this way?

    Last week, a friend asked me how I was doing, and I didn't know how to answer the question - I don't know how I'm doing. I am not fine. I am far from fine. But I am not alone. And I am working on filtering out the lies from the truth.

    My son's favorite song right now is "Truth Be Told" by Matthew West. And I am eternally grateful for the truth in this song. So often I get bogged down by trying to do it all, be it all, take care of it all, and I don't take the time to stop and listen to Him.

    So, my dear friend, if you are not fine, I invite you to be honest. I will not judge you. I promise to have a hug, and maybe chocolate. Only when we walk in honesty and truth will healing be able to do its beautiful work. 

In His Love,

Christy

Trust

   So today, my homework encouraged me, and I thought I would share it with you. I tried putting it into a Facebook status, but there was just too much to share. So y'all get a blog post instead. :)

   Today did not start out the way I wanted it to. I stayed up too late, and then couldn't fall asleep. So I was tired this morning and didn't get up as early as I wanted to. Then, as I'm trying to rush out the door, I can't find my lunch in the fridge. I probably spent at least five minutes looking through the whole fridge, because I knew that I had packed one. So where could it have gone? Turns out my husband didn't know it was mine and took it for his lunch. Well, at this point, I was supposed to be driving away, so I grabbed a hard-boiled egg, a pack of graham crackers and the almost-empty jar of peanut butter, and a bottle of milk and dash out the door. Traffic wasn't too bad, but my GPS keeps on trying to take me random ways to school, and it was driving me crazy. But I make it to school on time, and get to class. I'm early, but I like it that way. I'd rather be there early than leave later and get stuck in traffic and be late - that happened once. 15 minutes before class is supposed to start, one of my fellow classmates checks her email, and discovered that the professor had just cancelled class to a family emergency. I started laughing hysterically. Of course it was! Because that is the way the past couple days have been - if it could go wrong, it somehow did. Doesn't help that I'm hormonal and suffering from sleep deprivation. :)

    Anyway, I thought I'd take advantage of the extra time to write one of the three papers that are due on Thursday. "Journal Entry #5: Truth and Money". Boring, right? Ugh... But once I started writing, it took off in a direction I wasn't expecting, and I ended up being encouraged myself with these verses from Matthew 6:25-26 "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" And I realized that I've been stressing about things that I don't need to stress about. I mean, yes, I should be concerned about some things, and I need to be responsible, but stressing about them doesn't help anyone. After all, if I'm where God wants me to be, then He'll provide for my needs. They might not be what I think I need, but He knows best what I need and what I don't need. So I'm working on leaving my desires at His feet. I like to set them down and pick them back up again, but that isn't really trusting Him.

  So, I'm sitting myself down at His feet and I'm going to work at just being. Listening, trusting. Because life is more than all the little stuff that gets at you. It's bigger, grander, and beautiful. Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your week, and pray for me, if you think of me. 

   In His Love,

       Christy

Music Mix-Up Monday #37

Hey all! Life has been so busy, but I'm trying to make time to keep up with this blog. :) This song has been running through my head the past few days, so I thought I'd share my insanity with you all! :) Today has been a busy but productive day. How about the rest of y'all? (I had coffee today, and I'm feeling like I'm flying! :D Thanks, Mom!)




My sisters have been singing this song a lot this past week. Loving like I'm not scared and taking time for others are things that I have been thinking a lot about lately. But the more that I look to God, the more He gives me the courage to live my daily life. I hope this song picks you up and encourages you! I'm off to finish my homework! Have a great Monday, and keep your eyes fixed on the One who makes life worth living!!

In His Love,
Christy

Living Life to the Fullest

   "Life is short. Make the most of it." How many times have I heard that before? It seems to be a mantra for today's society. Some even paraphrase it and put it on coffee cups. "Life is short. Stay awake for it" Caribou says. I wonder though, how many people use it as an excuse to do stupid things or to be selfish. After all, if life is short, and you have to make the most of it, why wouldn't you focus most on yourself? But after the events of these past two weeks, I've been thinking about what "make the most of it" really means.

Aaron Lillemo

   My friend Aaron died suddenly in a motorcycle accident two weeks ago. At his funeral, people told stories about how he had touched their lives by the amount of time he'd spent with them, talking to them, challenging them. How he'd drop everything to help them. If an outsider had looked at his life, one might have judged him as someone who didn't do much. Or a "not nice person to associate with." He was retired military, a tattooed biker, and a truck driver. He was a smart aleck, often didn't have a filter when he was talking, and smoked. I know some people who wouldn't have wanted to be friends with him because of how he looked, and some of the things that he did, or some of the things he didn't do. That would have been their loss. The Aaron I knew was stubborn, hard on himself, and passionate. And he loved Jesus. One of my favorite memories was of him the day that he died. I was on the worship band, and so was blessed to see everyone else worshiping, and he had his head thrown back and his arms raised. It was a beautiful sight. And he carried his passion into everything he did. He was a do or die kind of guy. He was everywhere, all the time, with everyone. I don't think he really slept.

   Which makes me wonder, what does it mean, "make the most of life"? Aaron didn't know he was going to die when he got on his bike that day. None of us knew that that would be the last time we would see him. Do I live every moment as if it could be my last? Or am I apathetic about taking care of my half-started projects, investing in my friends, my family? Do they know that I love them? How do my actions say that? If I died tomorrow, would people be able to say that I loved them the way that Jesus loves them, or do I live for myself? Would a friend be comfortable to call me and say, I need help, can you help me? Would I be there for them? I don't know.

   Now, I don't want people to read this, and respond with, "Oh, Christy, of course they would." I don't want platitudes or empty reassurances. That isn't what this is about. It isn't about seeking a pat on the back. I'm looking at my life and asking God, "Where can I improve? What can I do that shows people I care about them?" Because in the end, it isn't really about what kind of job you had, whether you have tattoos or not, or smoke or not. Did you live your life for Christ? Did you love God, and love people? Not just as a platitude or sentiment, but really live that out in your daily life? Because if I'm not, then it doesn't matter if I live for another day, another year, or another eighty years. I will have wasted the few precious hours I have been given. Jesus calls us to be faithful with little, so we can be faithful with much. Am I faithful in the little things that make up a relationship, whether it's a family member or friend. Not as much as I could be. I don't always take the time to say I love you, or that I appreciate you. I think it, often. But that doesn't count.

   So, if you are a friend of mine, know that I love you. And I'm working on showing it better. Because I don't want to die and leave you wondering. "Live life to the fullest. Seize the day" isn't always about parachuting out of the airplane, or taking the trip around the world, or being the best at everything. It's about love. True, laying down your life for the other person, love. Jesus did a lot while He was on this earth, but thing He did the most, the thing that guided His every move, was love. And I want to be just like Him. And, slowly, I'm learning what that looks like.


In His Love,
Christy

News... BIG news...

   So, if you actually read my last blog post, I left a hint of more news than what was in the blog post. But if you didn't, that's okay... I'll still tell you. :)
   I have a secret. Sort of... It isn't really a secret, but neither have I announced it. I've just been enjoying it, but it's time to share it with y'all. I have a Beau. His name is Josh, and we've been getting to know each other for about three months now.
    Now, if you've known me for any length of time, or have been around my blog for awhile, then you know that a few years ago I broke up with my fiance. I went through a lot of trust issues with God after that, and have done a lot of healing these past two years. Earlier this year, I had reached a point where I figured that I was never going to get married, and I was okay with that. I was going to live by myself, with about a half a dozen cats or so, and serve God however I could. But God, once again, had a different plan in mind for me. (Shocking, right? God has a better plan than I do? Who knew? :D)
   So, Details. Because everyone loves knowing the details. :D  My church had a small group for young adults that got together once a week to do a Bible study together. When I got back from Ellerslie, I started going to it again. Josh was in the group, but neither one of us ever really talked to the other person. We had a conversation or two, but nothing major. I had a lot going on, so I didn't make it every week, but I did enjoy it. Then, the group got moved to Wednesday night, and I couldn't go at all since I worked in Kid's Church on Wednesdays. I missed it, but that was okay.
   A few months went by, and in late March/early April, the youth group had a Skate Night as a fundraiser for their mission trip.  I went, and he was there. Since there wasn't anyone else that either of us really knew, we hung out together and chatted. I enjoyed myself, and went home, completely oblivious that God was busy working in his heart.
   A couple more months went by - I joined the worship team, and in early July, I signed up to go on the mission trip to the Netherlands. Then, one Sunday, he showed up to sing in the choir. And then, later that week, there he was at the mission trip meeting. Then, on July 15th, our church had it's annual church picnic, complete with fire truck pulls. Our church never does anything by halves, or the usual way. Instead of tug of war, there was a competition to see which team could pull the fire truck across the finish line the fastest. Since they were in desperate need of women - the team had to consist of 5 guys and 5 girls, no more, no less - I somehow found myself unable to tell Josh no. Then that night, while watching a movie, my phone goes off. I had a Facebook message from him, telling me that he had admired me and my faithfulness and love for God for awhile, and could he have my number so he could get to know me better. After thinking about it and praying about it, I gave him my number. The rest, as they say, is history.
   Now, these past three months have been a bit of a roller coaster, as God has used this to bring many fears that I hadn't realized I had to the surface. I've dealt with fear of rejection, of being left again, of somehow making the wrong decision and messing everything up. And God just keeps on reminding me to trust.  He has the best in mind, and never makes a mistake. Now, don't get me wrong - it's been amazing, and I wouldn't trade these past three months for anything. Josh has been very patient with me as I work through different issues and feelings. This was not what I was expecting would happen in my life right now. But I've come to the realization that life, in and of itself, is one big unexpected experience. And I'm becoming okay with that.
   I'm very happy right now, and we get along really well. We both are actively involved in children's ministries, as well as other areas in our church. My family loves him, and he fits in very well. So, if you think of us, pray for us, as we figure out where God is leading this relationship. We both want this relationship to work, and to bring glory to God, for what other reason is there for our existence except to bring honor and glory to His Name?
   In His Love,
      Christy

Living Life...

     Life has been so busy lately, and somehow the days have run into weeks, and the weeks blended into months. While I wasn't looking, summer slipped away and fall arrived, with all it's colorful glory.  It's grey and windy outside today. The leaves have turned colors and are falling all around.  Soon fall will turn into winter, and I'll have barely had time to breathe.  Soon snow will start to fall, and my world will become a winter wonderland, and everything will be fresh and white. Christmas lights will appear, fires will blaze, hot chocolate will be made, and carols will be sung.
    You may be wondering, what in the world has been keeping me so very busy that I've hardly had time to blog at all?  :) God has filled my life to overflowing with so many blessings and trials all mixed together, that I'm not sure I'd know where to start.
    A couple years ago, I started taking ASL classes, with the hopes of becoming a Sign Language Interpreter. However, by the end of my second class, I was starting to hate ASL. The college I was attending quit offering the evening classes, and I didn't like the professor that they had, so I quit, thinking that at some point I'd try again. Well, earlier this year, the head of the school at our church approached me and asked if I'd be willing to teach the school ASL for half hour once a week. So, I'm currently teaching 17 kids their alphabet and some different signs. It has been an adventure. I was worried when I first started out that it wouldn't work out very well - that I didn't know what I was doing, that I'd teach them something wrong, or whatever. But I moved forward in the face of my fears, and am really enjoying it now. Soon we are going to start memorizing a verse for the Christmas performance. :)
    One other big thing going on in my life right now is that I'm getting ready to go on my first mission trip!  There are about 12 of us or so from my church that are going to the Netherlands in February.  Our church supports a missionary and his family over there, and we will be spending 10-14 days with him, just ministering and doing street witnessing and lots of other stuff. I'm so excited!!! I've never been out of the country before, so I just went and applied for my passport a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm in the waiting game to see when it arrives.
    I'm still involved in our church's worship team. Recently I was moved from playing the keys to playing the piano during worship. That was a big step for me, as I don't really like to be in the spotlight, so to say. Also, I wasn't as confident in my skills as Pastor Bob, our worship leader. But again, I just moved forward and was willing to try it, and so far it's been okay. :)  So now I go back and forth between the keys and the piano, and I'm loving it. I never would have chosen to get involved this way, but I'm so glad that God has other plans for me. And I still work in our Children's ministries department on Wednesday nights. I love being able to give back to others, and point them to Christ. If hadn't been for others being willing to pour into my life, who knows what would have happened. I'm forever grateful for all my various church teachers who took time out of their lives to invest into mine.
    I have more going on in my life, but I think I want save that for another blog post. It's so special that it deserves it's own, not just tacked on to the end of a long post.  That, and if I don't finish this now, I'm going to be late for work. :)  I pray that you all are having a wonderful fall day, wherever you are.
    In His Love,
         Christy

Music Mix-Up Post 31

  Recently, there has been a lot of new things going on in my life, and my biggest enemy has risen to fight me. Looking at me, and how I live my life, one wouldn't guess, but I battle with fear a lot. Fear of being hurt, fear of failing, fear of man, etc... It usually rears it's ugly head whenever I take my eyes off of Jesus and start looking at the raging waters all around me. (Matthew 14:30)  Anyway, recently I added Jason Gray to my iTunes, and I was listening to this song this morning, and I thought I would share it with you. So, may I present, "No Thief Like Fear," by Jason Gray.







This song just spoke to my heart today, reminding that we aren't called to live in fear. One verse that I have been meditating on is 1st John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (NKJV)  It has been an exciting but scary ride these past few months, and I'm working on continuing to trust my God and King. I know that He always has my good in mind, and has the most amazing plan in mind.  So, I continue to press on, being willing to do what He has called me to do, even if I'm doing it afraid. 

  In His Love,
     Christy

Snapshot of Life

Hello Everyone... I hope you all are having a wonderful summer.  God has been so good to me - my summer has been amazing so far, and I'm so excited to see how the rest of this year plays out.

Earlier this summer, as school was getting done, my hours at work were going to be drastically cut. But God provides, and sent more children to the daycare for the summer.  So I have been working every day, which has been such a blessing.  I love my job.  I work at a MAG Childcare - it's a daycare that is in my church.  Some days it's stressful or long, and I leave going, "I'm never having children!" :) But then there are the days were everything goes the way it's supposed to, and the children are little dears, and I feel like my life has purpose. (And yes, I still want to have children lol)

I've joined the worship team at our church!  It was never something that I ever sought out, but I have been so blessed to be a part of it. I currently play the keyboard, but soon they are going to move me to the piano.  That will be an interesting experience.  I've played the piano for many years, but only started learning chords a few months ago.  But God has blessed me with a passion for worship, and I'm learning to trust Him in a different way. :)

I'm also involved with our children's ministries at church. I have learned so much, and count it a privilege to serve.  I went with our church to Kid's camp this year as a counselor.  That was such a stretching experience for me.  It definitely opened my eyes and made me rethink some things. At one point, I lost my phone, but God was looking out for me, and it got returned to me within an hour.

I am so amazed by all God has been doing in my life.  A couple of weeks ago, I was scheduled to play keys for worship, and I had overslept my alarm, and was scrambling to get ready. I left late, and as I went to go get in my truck, it wouldn't start. I was so frustrated, because I was already behind, so I ran back inside, grabbed my dad's keys, and took his car to church.  All in all, I was only ten minutes late, but I felt like I was behind, and trying to get plugged in and set up and all that, and inwardly I was just stressing.  And it was like God just tapped me on the shoulder and went, "Hey, open your eyes. Do you even realize where you are?" And I stopped grumbling and stressing and just paused and realized, I was somewhere I'd never thought I'd be, but I didn't want to be anywhere else. So what if the car didn't start and the morning didn't go how I planned? God is in control, and I am loved.

I'm currently reading through "My Utmost For His Highest" as my devotional, and this little snippet just stood out to me the other day.  "God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious."

Psalm 63: 6-8: When I remember You on my bed, I mediate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.
Amen and Amen

In His Love,
   Christy

I'm Still Alive!

    Hello, my dear blogger friends! This is just a very quick note to say that yes, I am STILL alive! :) My life has been super busy lately, what with work and church and life.  But I am loving every minute of it, and I'm so thankful for everything that God is doing. His Faithfulness is beyond describable, and I am so amazed every day by the little ways that He shows up.  I've been thinking a lot about the song "Great is Thy Faithfulness."  Most of the song is taken from the third chapter of Lamentations, which is actually a really sad book.  But in the midst of all this tragedy, the writer pauses and says, "This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I hope in Him!' The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him." (Lamentations 3:21-26)  I look at where I am in life, and all that God has brought me through, and I echo Lamentations - "The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him."
    So, I am doing just that... I am waiting on my Lord.  And I am content to be there, to rest in His faithfulness; to learn how to let His Joy be my strength. Falling in love with the One Who made me, Who died to save me.  Learning to live the life that matters.  And I pray that y'all are doing the same, no matter what it looks like.


    In His Love,
       Christy 

Bucket List Revisions... (Ellerslie Post 9)

Hey everyone... This blog post is something that I have been contemplating for a bit, and I really feel like God is leading me to write this.

  On my birthday earlier this year, I put up a blog post with a list of 27 things that I wanted to do this year - things I wanted to experience, if you will.  However, while being here at Ellerslie, the Lord has really been pricking on my heart about a couple of things - one thing in particular actually.
    #9 ~ Going on a date.

  My whole life I have championed not dating - living a life of complete devotion to whomever I would marry in the future.  Proverbs 31:12 says, "She does him good and not evil ALL the days of her life." Not just after I've met him, or after I've been married.  And yet, on my list of things to do this year is to go on a date.
 
  I realize that I've been struggling with trusting God in all things - I'd gotten tired of waiting, so to speak, and thought that I'd "help" God along. "Just because I go on a date doesn't mean that I'm giving my heart away," was how I justified it to myself.  Even though I wrote that it didn't have to be a guy, I really wanted it to be a guy... It just sounded better if I didn't admit it. And I didn't want to admit it even to myself that I was struggling with being discontent and not trusting God. I'm the "good girl" so to speak - I'm not really supposed to struggle with things like that. I felt like I was supposed to have it all together, but I didn't. I still don't, in a way.  But I'm learning how to fully be surrendered to God and yield my life as a living offering to Jesus Christ on a daily basis.  My life is not my own - I have been bought with a price, and everything I do should bring God glory.

   So today, God went after #9 on my list.  And I really feel like He is calling me to apologize to all of you readers.  I was wrong in not trusting Him and for lowering my standard.  I ask for your forgiveness and patience as I continue to seek out how God wants me to live. I pray that my list didn't cause any of you to stumble, and if it did I am very sorry.

Please pray for me as I continue to seek out His will for my life...

   In His Love,
       Christy

Under Construction!

I'm sorry everyone... somehow, while I was looking at something last night, I accidentally changed something, so I'm in the process of trying to fix it & update it. Unfortunately, I don't have a whole lot of time to spend online, so this is going to be a work in progress!

  I miss you all so much, and I hope you are all having a wonderful start to your week!

      In His Love,
         Christy

Operation: Colorado Big Build! (Ellerslie Post 6)

             Saturday, November 12^th, dawned bright and clear.  A hum of expectation and excitement hung about the campus.  The day for our Two Hands Big Build had arrived, a day I had been looking forward to for weeks.  Two Hands is an organization designed to assist families in adopting children through sponsorship of a church or school in their work on widows’ homes. This concept is based off of James 1:27: “This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (NASV)  This was the first time that Two Hands had ever worked with a school before. Ellerslie students had a huge envelope stuffing party several weeks before as we asked our friends and families to support us in this venture.  All of the money raised goes straight to helping orphans.

                We were all there - almost one hundred of us - at seven in the morning, packed into the Everett Center, munching on donuts and fruit for breakfast - yummy! - while listening to Ben announce the different groups we would be in and their various locations. Several students went to work at different widows’ homes, and most of us, including me, went to the local retirement/nursing home center where we frequently have community outreaches.  As we piled into cars, we were eager to be warriors for the Lord by serving in our community and supporting adoption.

                Upon arriving at the retirement home, we were directed by Mr. Dan, the overseer for this project, to our various tasks. These included raking leaves, re-painting the fence and gazebo, cleaning out, washing, and painting gutters, and visiting with the residents. Some of the guys climbed up into trees and chopped down dead limbs.  One branch that was particularly stubborn took four guys and many spectators to tackle the job, but they prevailed!  Spirits were high as we laughed, worked, and sang the day away.  Lunch was a festive affair, complete with pizza and Oreos- more good food.  After raking a huge pile of leaves, a bunch of us took turns jumping into the pile before we bagged it up.  For some of the students, it was their first time jumping in a pile of leaves! The race began to see who could fill their bag up the most. We definitely enjoyed our work!

                After the work was done, a bunch of the men played an intense game of football in the side yard.  Teams were decided upon, plans were hatched, and the game began- hilarious to watch.  When it was time to return to Ellerslie, we were tired, but joyful in knowing that God had given us this opportunity to serve both our community and orphans.

                That night, we all gathered in the chapel to celebrate the day and honor various students for their endeavors - the messiest painter, the best encourager, and the hardest worker, among others.  It was a time of fellowship and laughter as we recounted the different ways God had worked throughout the day.  It was a joy and privilege to fulfill one of Christ’s commands, and we are eager and expectant to see Him glorified through the seeds that were planted!   “And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matt. 25:40)

Here is the video that shows a snapshot of everything!

Big Build Project from Ellerslie Student Life on Vimeo.

Ellerslie Post 3

    SNOW!!!!! 
       Last night it started raining, and this morning we woke up to at least six inches of wet, white fluffy stuff on the ground.  Needless to say, there was a lot of excitement in the air.  A lot of people here had never really seen snow before (shocking, isn't it?!?!) and were therefore very excited about it. 
So far, we've had a couple of snowball fights, a snowman built, and my roommate (who's from Puerto Rico) and I made snow angels.  Angela (my roommate) has never made a snow angel before.  I went first, so she would know what to do.  After I demonstrated (pictures coming soon!), she stood in the snow, and was like, "I don't want to fall!" so I gave her a bit of a nudge to help her along. :)  After she was done, she admitted that it was quite fun. :)  So, she got to experience making a snow angel for the first time, and I got to knock one more item off of my to-do list!
    I would love to write more, but I have to run & go write the drama for Kiddo Night next week - we are doing the story of Noah, as well as Cain & Abel.  :)  Pray for me!
    In His Love,
        Christy

Ellerslie Post 2

Okay, so I've been here at Ellerslie for about two and a half weeks, and I've only put up one blog post...
    Life here has been really busy, but I'm enjoying it immensely.  Last Saturday we had our Epic Ellerslie Games!  They were so much fun!! And, our team won!! I wasn't really planning on us winning - none of us are very athletic, but we had a ton of fun.  Some took pictures, so I'll post them soon. 

   The view here is absolutely beautiful!

This is one of my favorite pictures.  The sun is setting behind the hills, and reflecting off of the lake that is here... You will see a LOT of pictures of this area - I've fallen completely in love.

  I am learning a lot - more than I could possible try and convey in a simple blog post, but I will have to try and put one up soon.  I would love to write more, but I've gotta run - dinner is in just a few minutes, and then there is Kiddo Night tonight.  I'm working with the drama team, and it has been a blast!  Tonight's skit includes a huge sword, which I was carrying around campus.  Talk about big - I think the sword might be almost as tall as I am! :)

In His Love,
    Christy

Music Mix-up Post 27

   This song is one that I've had on reserve for a while now, waiting for the right moment.... And tonight seems like the right night.  May I present, "Painting Pictures of Egypt," by Sara Groves.



  

     This week's song has been very encouraging to me...  So often I can find myself in the land of "if only" or "should have been" and I lose sight of the future and where I'm going.  Or I look to the future and wonder how in the world is it all going to work out... And the past feels safer... Past habits, past ways of dealing with life feel comfortable and I want to go back to them, but I realize I can't do that... It isn't who I am anymore, and the past doesn't fit. 
    In eight days I leave for Ellerslie... A part of me just simply cannot wait until I get there, and experience everything that I can, and learn everything that God has for me...   But there is also a small part of me that is terrified...  I don't know how this is going to change me... People ask me what I'm going to do with everything I learn there... Honestly, I'm not sure I know exactly...  I only know that I need to go.  So in faith, I'm stepping forward.  God has given the illumination for this step... I'll let Him show me the next step when it's His time...

   In His Love,
      Christy

I'M SO EXCITED!!!

Okay, I will try and refrain from using too many smiley faces and all capital letters, but I am just SO EXCITED!!!!
    I'M GOING TO ELLERSLIE!!!!!! 
     

  *puzzled looks descend*

I know, I know, you all are like, what in the world is Ellerslie? Well, in a nutshell, it's a school run by Eric & Leslie Ludy in Windsor, Colorado.  

*more puzzled looks*  

Well that was just about as clear as Mississippi mud....

Right, who are Eric & Leslie Ludy?  They are Christian writers/speakers/teachers/leaders/ect... They are married & live with their children (they have four) in Windsor (shocking, no?).  I had the privilege of hearing them speak at Summit Ministries years ago, and I'm looking forward to going to their school.  I will try to keep you all updated on everything that happens.  The session runs from October 8th through December 11th.

   If you think of me, please pray that my heart would be receptive to what God would do in my life, and that the changes that I make would be lasting ones.  I don't want to go there and try and "fix things" and then come home & in a month or so, everything is back to the way that it was.... 

  In His Love,

    Christy

 

Mixing up the Music Mix-up

Today is the day that I would normally do a music post (at least, it's the day that I would like to do a music post. hehe) but, in honor of 9/11, I'm going to do a different video.  I came across this on Sunday.  "Voices of 9/11" is very well done, I thought.  It is a half hour, but well worth the time.





In His Love,
     Christy